I know I've already lamented "creepy crawlies" multiple times in this space, but I just had one of those mornings and need to vent. Shortly after the government speaker began blasting its daily call to alertness at 5:00 a.m., I stumbled into the kitchen in the dim light and took down a cup to make myself coffee. I set it on the dark black marble counter. The toad that was apparently occupying that space on the counter flew up into the air and landed on my shoulder before dropping to the floor with a gross splatting sound (and, of course, hopping away).
An hour or so later, I finished showering and grabbed a towel from the rack. As I wrapped it around my dripping hair, a cockroach the size of Texas dropped from my head onto the bathroom floor. I am going to assume that cockroach was stuck in the towel and not living in my hair. I can barely stomach head lice. The idea that there may be a colony of roaches infesting my locks may drive me to drastic measures. Stay tuned for "bald Jennifer" photos.
I made it to school without further encounters with hideous creatures and carried on with my day. Just now I returned to the house to find what I feared to be a small bat nestled high on the wall in the living room. Upon closer inspection, however, it is some kind of freaky frog that looks like it belongs in the rainforest. It's about four inches long and has somehow suction cupped itself to the wall and seems to be sleeping. I think I will just leave it alone. Given the way this day has been going, if I attempt to dislodge it, it will likely land on my head and spit some nasty venom into my hair that will attract cockroaches while I sleep.
Remind me of this day the next time you hear me cursing Vermont mosquitoes on a warm summer night.
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