Cannibalistic Chickens

Now that we've had so much fun with the kumquat tree, it's time to move on to the cannibalistic boiled chicken.  Here's your cultural Tet quote for the day:

Around Tet (Vietnamese New Year), a whole chicken is a prized food. Symbolizing abundance and prosperity, it sits prominently on the ancestor worship altar, along with the flowers, candles and incense sticks.

When we first started seeing altars everywhere this weekend, we noticed that there were an abundance of whole chickens featured at the center of many of them.  They were displayed in various poses with a variety of ornaments decorating them.  My favorite was the cannibalistic chicken gnawing on its own bones.

That's how I feel about chicken wings too!

Can you spot our friendly chicken front and center?

This was all fun and games until we attended a special lunch at a Vietnamese friend's house yesterday in celebration of the final full moon of the lunar year.  We looked on as they tossed rice, spread colorful plastic confetti around the yard, and burned fake "money" and "clothes" for the kitchen god.  Then they pulled the sacred chicken off the altar and escorted it to the kitchen to be transformed into lunch.

I thought to myself, "Perhaps there are some special chemicals in the air in Vietnam that preserve chicken left out on a table indefinitely."  Deluding myself made me feel better temporarily even though I know for a fact I should probably be more worried about the chemicals in the ground than the chemicals in the air in Vietnam (remember Agent Orange?).  So, in the end, does it really matter?  What does "free range" mean when the ground itself could be a toxic waste dump.  Perhaps salmonella poisoning isn't such a bad alternative.

Ten minutes later our cannibalistic friend arrived in pieces surrounded by rice and veggies.  The kids could barely contain their enthusiasm - mock fighting for the fatty comb and crunchy beak peaking out at them.  I gave them the "mind your manners" hairy eyeball while masking my own revulsion with a strained smile.  Fortunately there was more to the feast than questionable chicken.  We plopped ourselves down on a mat and enjoyed spring rolls, eggs, fatty pork, salad, vegetables and the aforementioned poultry. 

The kids were not exactly pleased at having been dragged away from school (at lunchtime) to enjoy this cultural experience.  They have very low tolerance for cultural experiences, so we like to force them out of their comfort zones.  They were all smiles when the Coke and Fanta came out.  They gave me evil grins that said, "Ha Ha!  It's not the weekend and we are drinking soda!  It's your own fault that you dragged us to this thing."  And then they turned to our hosts and said, "One more please," in near perfect Vietnamese.  Evil children.

Sadly I had to scurry back to school to continue with the afternoon.  I left John and the kids behind to finish enjoying the celebration (which apparently ended with Foster losing a Croc in the rice paddy, and our hostess going knee-deep in the mud to retrieve it.  That's how we like to say, "thank you," in America.).  As I biked away from the festivities, I had visions of a naked chicken bent on revenge chasing me through the alley ways.  I made it safely back to school and breathed a sigh of relief.

This evening we attended a Vietnamese dinner celebration for the opening of the Dingo Deli.  It took five courses to present itself, but there it was...the cannibalistic chicken's evil twin...staring back at me from the center of the table.  This one had a giant chili pepper shoved down its throat. I shuddered and turned away.  I believe Tet is destined to be the season of foul fowl dreams.  I'm not sure if they make New Year's resolutions for Tet, but I have resolved to eat less poultry and more tofu in the year of the cat.  I've yet to see a bean curd staring back at me!

Which is worse? Life at the market or death on the altar?

Another Tet tradition is tidying up the ancestors' graves.
If you're not big on weeding, bring the buffalo along to help.

Happy New Year!