We're back in a big city for a five day break from school. This time we have headed north to Hanoi. With the city buzz comes the multitude of cheek-pinching Nolan worshippers with their overly affectionate displays of curiosity. We advised him to thicken his skin up again, grin and endure the pats, pinches and caresses. It's a tricky balance between not offending our hosts and giving Nolan the right to some personal space. For the most part, he is learning to brush off the affection and comes through it smiling (unless he is tired, in which case he just dissolves into tears of frustration).
The big city also brings with it another cultural idiosyncrasy for Nolan - that of the crotch grab. Apparently this is a normal practice with young boys in Vietnam. Rather than doling out a cheek pinch, or a head pat, some friendly Vietnamese men (usually much older ones) go for a little verification of Nolan's masculinity. It's almost as if they're saying, "You are so cute...I think I need to confirm that you really are a boy." Needless to say, this practice is a tad unsettling for all of us - particularly Nolan. This is where we have drawn the line and said it's okay to fight back. When you have spent your parenting life telling your kids that no one has a right to touch them in any way that makes them uncomfortable, it's very difficult to justify a jingling of the family jewels. A harmless cultural convention? Perhaps. However this is where we have drawn the line on cultural flexibility and authorized the "just say no" tactic. If all else fails, smack the groping hand and run while calling out "good riddance" in your very best Vietnamese.
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