'Twas the Night Before Christmas

'Twas the night before Christmas in the tall skinny house.

The lizards were squeaking louder than a mouse.

The mold on the walls had begun to subside,

And that cute puppy, Coconut, was fast asleep outside.

The cranes were decked out in their holiday green and red,

and the kids (and John) were fast asleep in bed.

The Christmas cookies were all tightly wrapped

to keep the ants from having a midnight snack.

The UHT milk sat warm in a cup

waiting for Buddha Clause to come drink it up.

The long socks hung next to the Charlie Brown tree

in anticipation of some Vietnamese Christmas glee.

When out in the rice paddy I heard such a clatter,

I sprung from the moldy couch to see what was the matter.

On Christmas Eve it does seem a bit hokey

to spend the moonlit hours singing karaoke.

The full moon on the breast of the swaying palm trees

Gave the lustre of mid-day to the laundry flapping in the breeze.

When what to my wondering eyes should come out,

but a muddy water buffalo with a big ring in his snout.

With no obvious driver, and nary a lead,

I said to myself, "This is strange indeed."

For ducks they do wander, and lots of geese too,

and the dogs are everywhere taking a poo.

But buffalo? No, they don't wander on their own.

There was no way this buffalo could be alone.

When what did I see, but a red glowing nose...

and up from the mud another eight buffalo rose.

As dry rice that before the typhoon will scatter,

when they meet with an obstacle,  use a bamboo ladder.

So up to the top of the skinny house they flew

with a sleigh full of toys and Buddha Clause too.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof,

the prancing and pawing of each enormous hoof.

As I drew in my head and was turning around,

in through the sun light Buddha Clause came with a bound.

He was dressed in a Speedo from his belly to his upper thighs,

and with no other clothes to speak of, I had to avert my eyes.

A bundle of toys he had flung on his back,

And he looked like a fat tourist just opening his pack.

His eyes how they twinkled!  His dimples so deep! 

I was frightened to move my gaze beyond his cheeks.

His droll little mouth spoke in Vietnamese,

and the hairs in his mole stretched nearly to his knees.

A red betel nut was clenched firmly in his teeth,

and the fog from the paddy encircled his head like a wreath.

He had a tan face and a very round belly,

that shook when he laughed like a bowl full of jelly.

He was chubby and plump - just like Saint Nick,

I figured this had to be some kind of trick.

A wink of his eye and a scratch of his bald head

gave me to know I had nothing to dread.

He spoke not a word, but went straight to work

and filled all the long socks, then turned with a jerk.

And laying a finger aside of his nose,

and giving a nod, back through the sun light he rose.

He sprang to his sleigh, and to his buffalo gave a shout

And down the bamboo ladder they climbed, leaving no doubt...

Yes, Nolan, there is a Buddha Clause.

Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night.

Cranes sporting Christmas scarves

Christmas cookie party!

Coconut eats the carpet.

Ready for Buddha Clause

Gifts from Vietnamese friends



Buddha Clause? Is that you?



Did you say snow?

Xmas Eve on the beach is o.k.

We haven't done this before on December 24th.

Chillin'

Christmas haircut?  Please...

The closest we'll get to a snowflake this year

New tailor-made Christmas dresses!

John and Gordon Clause

Buddha Clause?  Is that you?

What's a Xmas party without a puppy?

Writing the note to go with the milk and cookies...

Here is a picture on the back for you.
Booda Clause,
Write me a note back and tell me if
your name is Booda Clause.