Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Move Over Viagra


"Before you leave Vietnam, you will have a fourth child," the man under the thatched roof hut proclaimed.  I looked at him suspiciously.  Fortunately, he was not a fortune teller but a seller of snake wine.  I think he needs to change his sales pitch if he's hoping to sell any wine to travel-weary families.  Maybe something more along the lines of , "This wine will make you want to relive your honeymoon on a tropical island and comes with a week of free babysitting."  Marketing strategies aside, we were curious to see what he was offering.

We were exploring the Mekong Delta by boat and had disembarked on Unicorn Island to watch local women make coconut candy and to taste honey products from the island's abundant bee population.  We had just heard about the wonders of royal jelly from the bee keepers (including its testosterone boosting powers), when the snake wine seller snuck in.

"You want to taste my cobra wine."  It was not a question - more of an order. Fortunately it was directed at John.  I glanced over at the cobra soaking in a vat of rice wine and looked back at John.  He was game. I was disgusted. 

The wine seller continued with his pitch in broken English.  He gestured with his hands - pointing at his head, and then displaying his muscles for us.  Then he guaranteed us a fourth child. We understood quite clearly the proported benefits of this local concotion.  John tossed back his sample and flexed his muscles.  I rolled my eyes.  The verdict: Not bad.  We left with a bottle - not for its contents but for its label.  No matter what the wine does for John's virility in his old age, the label will keep me laughing for years to come.


5 comments:

  1. Yeah....can we tell Brianna that she's going to have a sister after all? Cool? Shall I ask Brandi and Ashley to save baby clothes? Need a really beautiful Vietnamese name. I'm so glad that John is such a good sport...Jennifer, you be a good sport too. :)

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  2. I would consider "mantality" clever if it wasn't on accident.

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  3. I'm having trouble picturing where you are even going to get a moment alone during this adventure to even put this potion to the test! Good luck!

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  4. Thank you to everyone who has inquired about the effects of the snake wine on John's "mantality." He assures me that he's feeling very manly, and we will all just have to trust him on that. I remind you that we are traveling with three children, and the largest Vietnamese hotel room we have found to date has one king-sized bed and one single. We constantly either have one or two children sharing the bed with us. Thus a true test of the proported powers of the cobra will have to wait. I will keep you posted:)

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  5. You've always been able to amaze us, Jennifer. I expect this will be no different. You'll figure out how to make this all happen for us. Glad you continue to take the good natured picking so well. What's the Vietnamese equivalent of Botswana? Wasn't that supposed to be Foster's name?

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