An Afternoon at the Travel Clinic

Brianna braves Tetanus and Hepatitis A.

An afternoon at the travel clinic provided some good, clean pre-trip fun for the family today.  Prepared for the worst, we came away with only two punctured children due to our various, nefarious travel pasts and the diverse concotion of vaccines some of us have already been subjected to over the years. 

For kids who were already questioning their parents' sanity in deciding to take this little overseas jaunt, the pre-trip discussion with the travel doctor provided lots of evidence of parental neglect for future negotiations.

Doctor: You don't need to worry about malaria during the day.  The malaria mosquito only bites at night.

Me:  Great news! We can relax during the day.

Doctor: Let me tell you about Dengue Fever and Japanese Encephilitis...both mosquito-borne illnesses transmitted during the day.

Me: Okay - no relaxing.

Doctor:  Yes.  It will be 15 billion degrees, and you will need to cover up all the time.

Evil stares from children in the room.  I smile sweetly and ignore them.

Doctor: Most everything you may encounter is treatable.  You may turn a brilliant shade of yellow, get a brain infection or just feel awful for a week or so.  And, you will definitely get diarrhoea, so stock up on the Immodium.  Don't drink the water.  Don't eat fresh fruit and veggies.  And DO NOT interact with dogs (we all glare at Brianna).

Brianna:  Why is everyone staring at me?

Me:  Hmmm...anything else?

Doctor (as heard through children's ears): Nope.  I'll just write everything down and you can go auction off your first-born to pay for all of this stuff at the pharmacy downstairs.  Then, to make you feel better, you can bring those prescriptions right back here, and we'll shoot them into your arms with super-long needles.  Safe travels!